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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23953102">i’ll be the sun/waves/one you love the most</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mermistia/pseuds/mermistia'>mermistia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>jam week 2 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Reminiscing, all my fics have like the same 5 tags i want to die</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 14:55:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,185</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23953102</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mermistia/pseuds/mermistia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>jam week 2, day five - <b>hometown</b> or city </p><p>sometimes it’s nice to go back to your roots.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>jam week 2 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1721107</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i’ll be the sun/waves/one you love the most</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>literally what the FUCK was i meant to tag this. i hate writing</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They aren’t speaking. </p><p>He isn’t even sure <i>why,</i> really. They aren’t fighting, they aren’t arguing - at least, he doesn’t <i>think</i> they are, but they’re both sat in a long silence that’s so anxiety inducing that it’s starting to make his head spin. </p><p>Maybe it’s just his anxiety. Maybe he’s just being paranoid. Maybe he still just needs something to fix, something to solve, some problem to make him useful and wanted and needed. </p><p>He’s not sure. </p><p>But this uncertainty is driving him crazy, so he swallows the lump in his throat and lets his voice come out soft and slow. “Hey.”</p><p>It takes a second, a minute, something that feels like an hour, but Connie glances at him. “Hi.”</p><p>Well. He isn’t sure where to go from there. </p><p>His hand edges closer to hers through the sand, fingertips touching, brushing, loving. But not quite holding. Not quite together. He supposes that’s fitting for their current situation. </p><p>Maybe he should try again. </p><p>“Are we— uh.” The words catch in his throat, and he shakes his head as he powers through the anxiety and asks the terrifying question anyway. “Are we okay?”</p><p>There’s another split second that seems to last for days, and then Connie’s hand slips fully into his and she turns to face him and she’s <i>smiling,</i> her eyes are filled with stars and her hair is blowing in the breeze and Steven glances at her mouth and feels his heart leap into his throat. “Of course we’re okay. Why wouldn’t we be?”</p><p>“Well, I’ve...” he isn’t even sure why he’s explaining. Nothing can be wrong when Connie’s smiling like that, when Connie’s looking at him like that, with a look like she sees every single part of him and loves them all, like she’s falling in love with him all over again. Maybe she is. He quite likes the thought of that. “I just— I know I’ve been gone for a while, and I know that it’s been a while since you last visited— I mean, it’s been a while since we talked at all, things have been so crazy, and I know I’m leaving soon again, and this is just a visit... I’m just worried that—”</p><p>Her finger is pressed against his lips. He blinks. </p><p>“You’re rambling,” she says, and he lets out a slow breath. “Slow down. It’s okay.”</p><p>“It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay?”</p><p>Connie grins. “I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.”</p><p>Steven’s smile matches hers for a second, gentle and reassuring, before he bites his lip and squeezes her hand softly, eyes looking out over the ocean without really seeing any of the view. “I’m just... I know that I’m leaving. But I don’t want you to think that I’m leaving <i>you.</i>”</p><p>Connie squeezes his hand back, once, twice, three times in quick succession. “I know that.”</p><p>“You do?”</p><p>“I promise.” She turns to look at the ocean, tearing her gaze away from his face, though her eyes flick back to him every few seconds and he holds the quick bursts of eye contact with a growing smile. The water splashes up a little further to them, a little closer, and Steven curls his toes as it brushes up over their feet and ankles. “Steven, I’d never be mad at you for that, for leaving. I know. You’re okay.”</p><p>It’s quiet for a while. There’s still noise; the ocean splashing and shifting, the breeze ruffling their hair and clothes, the citizens of Beach City walking behind them. It feels silent and deafening all at once. </p><p>“You... you could come with me,” Steven says, more of a whisper than he meant it to be, and he steals a quick glance at Connie before looking away. “We could travel together.”</p><p>Connie smiles. It’s not sad, not upset. But it isn’t the happy smile from before, the insistent reassurance that came with shining eyes. It’s something different. “I can’t, Steven. I have to stay here for a while. I’m not... I’m not ready to leave. There’s school, my parents... this is my home.”</p><p>There’s something in her voice that Steven can’t quite place. He tilts his head back, filling his vision with snippets of sky and sights of rock in the shape of outstretched hands. Sights of his house, his <i>home.</i> He sighs. “It was mine too.”</p><p>“It still is. Sort of.”</p><p>“I know. I’ve missed it here.”</p><p>“We’ve missed you too.” A soft laugh falls from Connie’s lips, and Steven lets it fill his ears and override his worries. “The gems haven’t been the same since you left. They’re— I mean, they’re <i>okay,</i> but... your dad says they keep walking into your room talking to you, like they expect you to be there.”</p><p>Steven laughs, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Whenever I hear a loud crash somewhere, I blame Amethyst. Once I was in a diner and someone dropped a plate behind me and I just kinda sighed ‘<i>Amethyst...</i>’”</p><p>Connie grins. “Did they hear you?” </p><p>“Mhm. I think they thought I was crazy.”</p><p>“Crazy’s fun.”</p><p>“Not in public, it’s not.”</p><p>“<i>Especially</i> in public,” Connie corrects, one finger pointed to the sky in fake seriousness, and they both burst into laughter in perfect unison, leaning against each other as they smile. “It’s nice that you’re back.”</p><p>Steven tilts his head to the side when Connie rests her head on his shoulder, reaching an arm out to wrap around her waist and pull her closer. “It’s nice to be back.”</p><p>For a while, he watches the water. The sand. The pebbles and seaweed and sky, the temple standing tall behind him, his house looking the same as it always has. Somehow it hurts and feels perfect at the same time, a mix of nostalgia and love, of memories of corruption and memories of hugs, of the places where he’s cried and the places where he’s laughed. </p><p>The feelings tied to this place are strange, and messy. He doesn’t think that’s ever going to change. It’s home. It’s always been home, it’ll always be home. But what’s home?</p><p>His train of thought grinds to a halt as Connie bumps her hip against his, her mouth moving and shaping words that he doesn’t tune in in time to hear. </p><p>“I— what?” </p><p>“I want to go with you, one day.” He doesn’t understand it at first. It’s quiet, and soft, and almost a whisper, and he isn’t quite sure what she’s talking about. He doesn’t want to ask. He should know, shouldn’t he? What have they been talking about? Where does she want to go? What is he meant to say? He breathes out a sigh of shaky relief as she speaks again, a little louder this time. “Travelling, I mean. One day.”</p><p>“One day?”</p><p>She nods, resting her hand on top of his. He looks at her, he <i>understands,</i> and he can’t help the smile that’s starting to spread over his face. Connie smiles back. “After school... after everything. We can go see the world. <i>This</i> world. Our world.”</p><p>“Our world,” he repeats, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I like the sound of that.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>they’re going to travel together and explore their world............ watch me cry</p></blockquote></div></div>
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